Where is "there"?

JP turns 5 next month. 5! Five is a big kid! How can that be? He is still my baby, isn’t he? I look at him and see the things he is learning and I am so proud. We identify a weakness and craft a plan. He practices and learns what he needs to know and he succeeds (usually). He is doing great! I am so proud and I feel like he is going to get there.

But where is “there”? Up until now, “there” has been kindergarten in a regular classroom with all the “regular” kids. With his higher than average academic skills it just feels like that is where he is supposed to be. His teachers this year tell me how well he is doing in the “integrated preschool”. His SLP told me that he was almost indistinguishable. She felt that an outsider looking into their classroom wouldn’t be able to pick out the child with autism.

But I was there for the Halloween party...

Yes, he lined up with the other children for the group picture. But, no, he did not smile and while all the other kids were excitedly chattering away he just stared into space.

Yes, he frosted his cupcake and even ate it all. But there were no sprinkles or other fancy decorations for his cupcake. Cupcakes have frosting. That is it. They don’t have pretzels stuck in them (even if he likes pretzels). Pretzels do not go with cupcakes.

Yes, he decorated his paper pumpkin and it even looked like a Jack-o-lantern. Jack-o-lanterns have two eyes, one nose and a mouth. They do not have purple bow ties. It doesn’t matter if there is one here in front of him because Jack-o-lanterns do not wear purple bow ties!

Yes, he took his turn in the games even though he was the first one out of musical chairs. I imagine that not all 4 year olds understand that game. Perhaps he wasn’t alone. There were a couple other kids that had trouble with the games. But then there are supposed to be 8 special education peers in this class of 17.

I am glad I went to the Halloween party but I saw a lot! I saw creativity, mischief and competition. There were ninja warriors battling jedi knights. One jack-o-lantern builder even used the little circles (designed for the pupils) as nostrils. And the two boys left in the musical chairs game intuitively knew how to team up and beat the one girl that was left. How did they know all that!

How do I teach him all of that? Can I teach him all of that? Can we get "there"? Is that where we are supposed to be?