Our first haircut

Last week JP went for his first real hair cut. Up until now I have just wrestled with him and a pair of scissors. I actually don't mind his hair a little longer but it gets old having to cut it every few weeks. We tried shears at home and he DID NOT like the noise.

Well, I decided that this was a milestone for him when he turned 5. We took him a few days before his fifth birthday to watch Daddy and Grandpa get their hair cut. I had told him that this is how he had to get his hair cut after he was a big boy of 5 years old! I had hoped he would let us get his hair cut that day but no such luck. When I tried to tell him it was his turn he pointed out that was not 5 yet. The kid is too damn smart sometimes! So we didn't push him. I figured that first exposure was a start! That was really all I had planned for that day. I didn't want to get too greedy!

Well, last Monday we decided it was time. I talked it up over the weekend and all day on Monday. He was very nonchalant about it and didn't put up a resistance. When Dad got home from work we all loaded up in the van and headed out. We decided to let JP choose if we ate supper first or got his hair cut. He said hair cut. So we went to get his hair cut. T fell asleep in the van so Dad stayed with him. JP and I marched right in. He walked up to the counter and said, "My name is JP. I am getting a haircut". The girl told us it would be 45 minutes!

I didn't know what to do. JP was psyched up and who knew what it would be like if we came back later. But we decided to eat and come back later. When we returned it was still busy so we tried a different establishment. We walked right in. I debated explaining to them about JP's autism but decided to go with the flow. I did state that it was his first time and that I would be with him. I also explained that he had sensory issues.

I have to say that the gal cutting his hair didn't seem to listen to a word I said. She kept telling him to hold still. She even went so far as to tell him to hold still so she didn't cut his ear off! Can you say MORON! I can't imagine telling any kid that! Let alone my very literal and believing child! Fortunately, JP was more intrigued by the "hmm" of the shears and wasn't really listening to her anyway! I had to hold his head still a few times and lift it up. His neck seemed to shrink down and disappear a lot! But we got through it with NO TEARS! It was so amazing! He whimpered a few times but I talked him through it!

His grandma is going to be upset because she loved his long locks. His teachers didn't even recognize him! He looks so much older now! He came home and stared in the mirror for a good 15 minutes. I'm not sure he has stopped petting himself since the hair cut.

February Time Capsule

A Moment in Time...

JP

What is your favorite...
COLOR: "I like red from the movie CARS." Any others favorite colors? "I like blue from the movie CARS too". Who is blue? "The King!"

BOOK : "Thunder and Lightning" Why that book? "Because I read it."

MOVIE: "Cars". Do you have any other favorites? "Buzz Lightyear. When the Buzz Lightyear movie is over--we'll eat." (He just come home from preschool. It is noon and lunch time. He did want to watch a movie but I told him he had to help me answer questions about JP on the computer. And then we would eat lunch. So much for that distraction!) He actually has really only been interested in CARS, Toy Story, and Toy Story 2 this month. However this month was the first time he asked to watch Toy Story 2. He'd watched it before but had limited interest--even though he was already a huge fan of the original Toy Story.

FOOD: "Cars fruit snacks." Any others? "Yeah, a cake." What kind of cake? "Strawberry cake." (we recently tried some strawberry twinkies). He doesn't seem interested in some of his favorites of the past. Doesn't eat Ramen noodles or Mac-n-cheese well. Also not big on his grilled cheese. Of course he still loves apples and oranges so I won't complain. But it is getting hard to find items of substance that he likes. He is still not a fan of meat.

DRINK: "Lemonade". What kind of lemonade? "Yellow and green Lemonade." Do you like pink lemonade. Uh huh! (I've never heard "uh huh" before!!!)

TOY: "The control Lightning McQueen." Any others? "The Sally control." Anything else? "The Mator Control." What about Buzz? "That's the one!" Do you like Buzz and Woody or Lightning McQueen the best? "I like Lightning McQueen the best." He actually spends most of his time with McQueen but has recently become attached to Buzz and Woody again. Other activites have been minimal. He has asked a few times to play "The Deciders". This is an educational video game on his computer. Trains are still in the periphery but we haven't had to have any train tracks out in the middle of our rooms!! That has been wonderful!

LETTER: "A"

NUMBER: "1"

SONG: "The race kachow song from Lightning McQueen." (Damn, I still haven't figured that one out.) When does McQueen sing that song? "McQueen doesn't sing that song." Who does sing that song? "The radio." Who sings it on the radio? "One car." Do they sing that song in the movie? "Yeah." Where do they sing that song? During the race? "Yes." Or in radiator springs? "Yes."

Help!!!

_______
My additions:
(big sigh) JP has been very assertive that he won't do things. We are working on keeping that feeling of independence but also realizing that when a teacher or parents says to do something--he must do it! Along with this battle has come some aggressive behaviors that I have never seen before. He is still a sweet gentle soul 90% of the time.

Biggest stims - chewing fingernails, rubbing his hair(after getting his new haircut). A lot of Buzz Lightyear scripting. Some McQueen talk as well. A lot of cars racing around race tracks and losing control around the third curve. A lot of turning left to turn right (spin out control on dirt track). A LOT OF BLOWN TIRES! A lot of "To Infinity and Beyond".

Bed time books:

Baby T

FOOD: Bread, fruit cups, bananas, cinnamon toast, pasta, hot dogs, chicken fingers, cheese. He loves the Hamburger Helper Cheesy Beef Taco single servings. He eats the whole thing which is fine with JP as he doesn't like it. Anything with a spoon or fork. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MESS! Not sure much of the "sauces" get in the tummy!

DRINK: This really depends on his mood. Still prefers milk from the bottle but is doing better taking from a sippy cup. I am still giving him a bottle at nap and bedtime. He recently discovered orange juice!

MOVIES: Anything Baby Einstein.

TOYS: ( I use that word loosely)




Basically his favorite toys are anything that he shouldn't have. He is continuously getting the syrup out of the pantry and the mustard out of the refrigerator. (Why those I wonder?) He loves the plunger from the bathroom. (Gross!) Real phones are fascinating! The toy phones don't fool him. The broom. (This isn't so bad because he can help clean up after his messy meals!) My computer! He loves the mouse and the key board. (I've had to reboot quite a few times! ) Some other favorites are the toilet paper roll, my water glass, the TV remote controls, the blinds, the trash can, items plugged into the wall - specifically to the phone charger, the camera. Essentially anything he can get his hands on during the one second we stop hovering over him. And believe me he is FAST!

The truly adorable (and frustrating) thing is that he knows when he is doing something he shouldn't. If I so much as utter his name he takes off running with the particular item. And recently has taken to shaking his finger when you say no. I must add that this is not how I tell him "no" but rather him applying the "no silly monkey's jumping on the bed" song to his current predicament! (I have to admit the fact that he has generalized helps Mommy keep her Autism magnifying glass put away.)

BOOKS:
He really isn't into books right now. (He can't sit still long enough.) We still read but he isn't expressing any favorites.

WORDS/ACTIONS:
(against my better judgement I will include these...I'll try not to over analyze)

Daddy, BaBa (bottle), All done, ball, I did it!, Mama, Baby, straw, head, puppy/dog,
go (We say "ready, set" and he says "go"), Three (We say "one, two" and he says "three")
Bye Bye (with a finger wiggle wave), Burp game (pretends to burb and cover his mouth), peek a boo, noisy/sloppy kisses, blows noisy kisses, touches head during "monkey jumping on the bed", wags finger no during the "no jumping on the bed" part.

Will grab your nose if you say nose. Actually gets quite a grip on it too. Poor JP!
Will pounce on JP if we say "Dog Pile".
Will head to the stairs if you say it is time for a bath.
Will head to the refrigerator if you ask if he wants milk.
Will wave bye bye if you start to get out the coats.
Will bring food from the pantry to Mom. Usually goldfish or fruit snacks.
Will put toys in your hand if he needs help getting them to work.
Will run from you (with the naughty item) when you tell him no.

Reportedly heard but unverified: car, duck, cup, bath, nose, juice, fish, JP

A Toy Story bedtime as told by JP

It was bedtime.

A little voice rang out, "Mom, have you seen Buzz?". The words were very clear and articulate. The voice belonged to JP but the words belong to Andy. We had watched Toy Story a few hours before.Dad and I looked at each other and acknowledged that this was the first time in months that Lightning McQueen did not go to bed with JP. Changes were afoot!

But it turns out that we couldn't go to bed until we found Woody as well. After a thorough search of the toy room, father, son, Buzz and Woody ascended to the bedroom.

However, Woody only made it through the door. This is where JP felt Woody needed to get his good night sleep. Atleast Andy put him in a nice cozy toy box when he kicked Woody to the curb! But JP doesn't have a toy box so he had to settle with his makeshift toy box/trash can.

Buzz was awarded the treasured cuddle spot in bed next to JP.

Poor Woody! Buzz steals all of his happiness! And now Buzz is taking over Woody's spot in Andy/JP's heart. How is a cowboy supposed to compete with a space ranger!
-----------
6am. JP crawled in bed with us earlier than usual. I smiled when I noticed that he had brought Woody along with him. Dad headed off to work and JP, Woody and I snuggled until the alarm went off. That is when I noticed that Buzz had not made the journey to our bedroom.

Buzz was all alone on JP's bed.

Don't get me wrong, Buzz is a good guy but I couldn't help but cheer for Woody!

Good thinking!

JP's catch phrase for the past few weeks has been good for my ego. Not only am I a great thinker but it helps smooth out some of his new stabs at independence when it comes to compliance.

Mom: "JP, why don't you get your pajamas and I'll get some some juice."
JP: "Good thinking, Mommy! That's a wonderful idea!"

If only ALL my ideas were received this well!

Compliance

COMPLIANCE
1 a : the act or process of complying to a desire, demand, proposal, or regimen or to coercion b : conformity in fulfilling official requirements
2 : a disposition to yield to others
3 : the ability of an object to yield elastically when a force is applied : FLEXIBILITY

I remember over 2 years ago meeting with a psychologist who was helping us get started on a home program for JP. He was 3 at the time. We expressed one of our top goals as potty training. She gingerly led us toward a more appropriate goal of compliance. And she was right...he's not going to use the toilet unless he will sit on the toilet when we ask him. This made sense and I do feel like we have made good strides on compliance. Even enough that we did eventually get him toilet trained!

Most of the time he will do what we ask. He has actually earned a reputation as being a very polite little boy because he does do what is asked. But, recently he has discovered the power of "No!". I think I hear "no" atleast 999 times a day.

"JP, do you want yogurt?"
"No! (long pause) Can I have yogurt, please"

Just about every therapy we have right now is working on helping him verbalize for himself when he gets angry. He is learning to stand up for himself when others take his toys. He is doing very well. Correction, was. Now he is going over the top and getting very angry when he doesn't get what he wants. Perhaps he is realizing his power to not comply and liking the feeling of control that comes with that. Perhaps we are pushing too hard?

He had a meltdown yesterday morning at school. Because we need this in check (especially for next year), he earned his first time out at school.

In the afternoon, while at speech preschool, he had one of his best days of attending and participating. Then he had the meltdown of all meltdowns. I was there to watch this one. It was painful. I missed the preceding seconds so I can't completely identify the cause but they were playing with the parachute as a group. He is still pretty uncomfortable of the sensory aspect of all the shaking and wild movements of all the kids.

His therapists and I have talked about pushing him through his anxiety. Most of the time it has worked. But I imagine that this is what triggered his reaction. She coerced him to step under the parachute and HE PUSHED AND FLAILED AND KICKED! A little boy appeared that I have never seen before.

So here we are more than 2 years later back where we started. Compliance. I have to wonder if this will always be on top of our list. I imagine that every time his world gets shaken up, this will be his control mechanism. Key word = Control.

As exhausted as this makes me feel, I find myself wondering how different is this from any other 5 year old? But it still isn't the same. That other child can talk about it and explain their feelings. My child can't. That child can learn from the experience and move on. For JP, we have to read his mind and give him the words so that he can learn from it and move on. But I am not a mind reader and they left that out of my parent manual.

40 hours of intervention - is it possible?

JP had a class at the Y today. For the last month I have hovered nearby to help in case I was needed (he's in a class full of NT kids with no specific supports in place!!!!). Today I decided to cut the shoestring and put T in the daycare room and got in an extra workout myself. Unfortunately my mind ran faster than I did.

So I decided to come home put one of those thoughts down in writing. I am curious to see how it works out. I want to calculate how much "scheduled" intervention we are fitting into JP's life. I know that this number will be lower than it has been in the past because we used to hire college students for anywhere between 6 to 10 hours a week. I haven't calculated it in awhile. I am interested to see how we are doing.

Hours per week
12.5 -- Preschool provided by school district
1.0 --- Private Occupational Therapy
1.0 --- University Speech Clinic - 1:1 with Speech major at local university
.5 ---- Adaptive Swim Lessons - 1:1 with PE major at local university
1.5 --- YMCA class - NO SUPPORTS IN PLACE & LOTS OF SOCIAL ACTIVITY
2.0 --- 1:1 with college student hired for home (current student is an OT major)
1.5 --- Speech/Social skills Preschool at local med center/university
2.5 -- Recreational Therapy camp at local med center
1.5 --- Random playdate (atleast one per week)
------------
24 HOURS PER WEEK
============

Well, that would be at a minimum. We often have a couple playdates. It seems like a lot but still not the "40 hours of intensive..." that we hear we are supposed to do. We do a lot of "family" therapy but I don't know any possible way to quantify that time. My philosophy is to try to focus on our goals 24x7.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Another perspective might be...

24 hours in a day
11 hours sleeping (on an average)
---
13 hours awake a day
7 days a week
---
91 hours awake during the week
24 hours of scheduled interventions
---
67 hours of awake time left. To be filled with life and "family" therapy -----------------------------------------------------------

In doing the first analysis I worried that we probably do not manage 16 hours of "family" therapy a week. (16 would meet the magical 40 hour per week number).

But the second analysis made me embarrassed to think that we couldn't carve out a mere 16 hours when we have 67 hours to work with!

Where do those 67 hours go?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
This I'll estimate in minutes per week...

300.00 ---20 minutes to school/40 minute van ride home(Mon-Fri)
240.00 ---30 minutes driving to every intervention (>8)
240.00 ---30 minutes driving home from every intervention(>8)
Assuming he's allowed 1 movie per day and not always CARS!
116.00 ---minutes to the movie CARS (Monday)
81.00 ---minutes to the movie TOY STORY (Tuesday)
92.00 ---minutes to the movie TOY STORY2 (Wednesday)
116.00 ---minutes to the movie CARS (Thursday)
81.00 ---minutes to the movie TOY STORY (Friday)
92.00 ---minutes to the movie TOY STORY2 (Saturday)
116.00 ---minutes to the movie CARS (Sunday)
630.00 ---30 minutes per meal 3 times a day for 7 days
7.00 ---therapeutic listening program we are just starting
---
35 hours

67 awake hours available.
35 spent doing the above activities.
---
32 hours left
16 of them for "family" therapy.
---
16 hours a week left to take an occasional bath, get dressed, and be a kid.

Something optimistic

The sun came up this morning.
It is a whopping 40 degrees outside.
It is not snowing.
It is not icy.
I have the best husband in the world. He is my soul mate.
I have two amazing boys.
My boys are beautiful (oops I should say handsome).
My boys are happy.
My boys are growing every day.
I have a beautiful home.
I am able to be home with my boys (and oversee JP's various therapies).
I don't "have" to work. (thanks to society's plentiful opportunities to acquire debt)
My husband agrees that I shouldn't work. (This is huge because he freaks about our debt)
JP's therapies are making a difference in his life!
JP talks.
JP asks other kids to play. (Doesn't often listen to their reply--but still this is BIG)
JP likes school, speech therapy, occupational therapy, speech group, Kristine (home therapy worker), Saturday morning camp, playdates, swimming lessons and his YMCA class. (This makes it easier to deal with the fact that he doesn't like soccer.)
I am healthy (height and weight challenged but healthy).
I am not a bored housewife but rather challenged every day by my boys.
Autism has brought many families into my life that I would have never met otherwise.
I have more friends now than I have ever had in my lifetime.



Sometimes it helps to list the good things.

Unfortunately, I spend most of my time looking at lists of things we "can't do" yet and it does taint my view on life.

The reality is that every skill we have is a blessing and every moment we have together is a gift.

It is all about your perspective!

Sticking my head in the sand

I am annoyed with the world right now.

I am going to combine that with the fact that we are reorganizing our house so my computer will be down for a few days.

Hopefully when I return to the cyber world my attitude will have cooled off. I will try to find something optimistic in this world to share.

Wish me luck.

The grass is greener...

Through our journey through the special education maze I have met a lot of amazing people. I find the comradery among the autism families to be some of my most rewarding relationships. So many of us families are overwhelmed dealing with our difficulties and it is so hard to not have access to services or supports to help us. Sometimes I think the only thing keeping me sane is knowing that there are atleast 1 out of 150 other families out there that are feeling the same stress and sense of abandonment that I feel.

I seem to have a good relationship with the support staff in our district. In fact, I find myself being a point of contact for the "new" families in our district. That is fine. I actually enjoy this role. So many of these families are in the initial shock phase and I am able to show them that it can get better. They typically ask about our Verbal Behavior home program and what other services we have found. I feel that I am making a difference in the world by trying to help. This makes me accept that maybe there was a reason I was inducted into the autism world.

During my last conversation with a new family I decided that it was silly to have this conversation with each family individually. So we started a Autism Family Support Group specific to our school district. So far we are meeting at my house. So far we have 10 families. What is really staggering is that this group is by word of mouth. We have stumbled on each other. These 10 families have 3-5 year old children. HOW MANY MORE ARE THERE OUT THERE!!!!

I am excited by this group. I think we can help each other accomplish a lot. My biggest goal is to help them all get up and running with a home program. One family has expressed their biggest goal as being able to advocate as a collective group. You see, our school district does not have a good reputation for special ed services. In fact, this weekend at the Autism Summit I found some "older" families in my district. Correction...I found some families who were in my district but moved out because they got fed up.

Uh oh! That little bell in the back of my head is starting to tinkle. I had this feeling with our first preschool teacher. I didn't act on it and we lost a lot of time. I don't want to make that same mistake. But I also am fully aware that different families have different perceptions. I've heard some parents tell that a school district has been great to them and then I find another family who says that same district has been horrible. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?

As I mentioned before, I have a good relationship with our current support staff. But this is the birth to five program. What about when we get into grade school? I get a new staff to work with. Fortunately, we retain our school psychologist so I will retain that relationship. I guess my fear is that the problems with our district seem to be coming top down. It might not matter if I have great teachers if their hands are tied.

I had two families this weekend tell me to run as fast away from our district as I could. They told me about another district. They are very happy with their new school. Ugh...what to do...what to think!

Resurgence of energy

I spent the last two days at an Autism Summit. I listened to Jed Baker inspire me to tackle the social issues. I listened to Wayne Gilpin teach me to appreciate the beauty in my children. Brenda Smith Myles overwhelmed me with the bountiful "hidden curriculum". Lots of info!

Truthfully not a lot of it was new. After 2 1/2 years of absorbing Autism information, and having already read their books, I can truly say that I've heard/read most of it all before. But it is so invigorating to be in the midst of a couple hundred family members and teachers who are all traveling the same path.

Yes, most of us parents sit there thinking..."That's a great idea but I'm wasting time sitting here. I could be home developing that visual schedule. I could be home developing those trials for our home program. I have so much work to do...let's do it!" Then we go home exhausted.

And last night after the boys went to bed I finally sat down to start up again! I spent 3 hours analyzing where we are on the ABLLS curriculum and started developing some new trials to focus on. I attended a training back in October on their updated program. They now include a few more "RDI type" skills. I started to reassess JP in October but then got lazy. Perhaps I was dragging my feel because I didn't want to have to back track to fill in the gaps the new tasks left on his chart. Finally I finished his current assessment Friday night.

Fortunately, I don't think we are going to have to back track much. I have already been doing a lot of RDI tasks with him (acquired an RDI book this past year too). So although ABLLS has been the cornerstone of our home program I guess it is good that I do a hodgepodge of activities with him. We have a few gaps to fill in but apparently we are still on track!

Now I just need the energy to pick up our level of sessions. It is just so much harder now that Baby T is mobile. Before he joined us I have to say that I was working with JP pretty much 24x7. Now I aim for 24x7 but have been lazy about planning things. I just try to find teachable opportunities in our day. Actually this is much more natural. And a lot less stressful because you don't have to spend hours developing "lesson plans". Perhaps he is more interested in the life lessons as well since they focus on his interest of the moment. But since I don't have a Phd in child development I figure I need to revisit the professional guidelines to make sure I don't miss some of the critical pieces!

Either way, JP IS doing amazing. I am amazed by him every day. But I keep thinking that I have 6 months to get him as ready as I can for kindergarten. I guess I am ready to roll up my sleeves and get to work again!

The sign says...

Today was our weekly pilgrimage to Walmart. As we were hustling to the doors (it was downright cold outside), JP noticed that they have ENTER and EXIT above their doors.

Here is our conversation...

JP: "What does sign say?"
Mom: "What sign?"
JP: "The sign says Enter".
Mom: "Yes, you are right! That sign says enter. Do we go in or come out of the Enter?"
JP: "Go in. Go out Exit."
Mom: "Yes! You are so right! JP, you are such a smart cookie!"
JP: (makes a really sad face)
JP: "I am a smart BOY."

So I have decided that I am going to start making a focus on teaching our crazy language. I am going to try to give him a new Idiom or crazy saying every day. The English language is really crazy when you think about it! How frustrating it must be to not understand what people mean when they use all these goofy phrases! Listen to yourself for a day and realize how often your words can not be literally translated! I guess we might as well start now and pace ourselves in trying to help him make sense of it all!

P.S. I am adding a section at the bottom of my blog to chronicle our lessons.

Relaxation Audio's - worth it?

Last week JP started some listening therapies. During our visits with his OT we have tried the program out a few times. He actually liked it the first time. Tantrumed about having to do it the second time. Tantrumed the third time but totally relaxed while listening and then proceeded to sing some of the songs the entire way home. This was rare because he rarely "sings" in public. He knows the songs but doesn't "perform".

Well, I decided that even if it just serves as relaxation for him it might be worth it. Yep, still a pricey mechanism for relaxation. $180 for the "special" headphones and each disc is costing us $40 as well. So we have our first disc and are trying to get him going listening at home. I guess we could have just kept doing it during our 1 hour of OT a week but I felt that that hour could be better spent using the therapist! This we can do at home!

The true difficulty is finding time. He is supposed to listen 30 minutes two times a day. He can't listen while playing video games or watching TV. I have found the best time is during his meals. So I have him wearing his $180 headphones while he gets pudding smeared all over his face. How crazy is that!

But you know what. He is so relaxed afterwards. Of course I want to give it more time before I decide for sure but I really think he is more spontaneously verbal right after. It is almost as though he is calmer and more open to sharing with us. He even doesn't put up a fight about having to do it!

I think he gets so stressed and overwhelmed during the day that he turns inside himself. For example, his verbal stimming is at its worst when he is overwhelmed. So of course this could be the case. I guess we should explore some other relaxation techniques for him as well!

However, my biggest inspiration for this therapy is to help him deal with those sudden or loud noises that freak him out! I'll definitely keep you informed if we make any progress on this front!

Lesson in the library

Fridays are library day for JP's preschool. The librarian reads a story to the class and then they can check out books. Parents are welcome to join them.

I try to go most of the time but sometimes purposely stay home just so JP can practice dealing with something "different". We discovered this was an issue when I didn't come the second week and he had a meltdown. So now I try to mix it up to help him practice some flexibility. I tell him in the morning that I won't be there. His teacher is great at reminding him during the day and he seems to be dealing okay with the variance.

Before I expand on Library day, I suppose I need to explain the make up of this classroom. We took a huge leap of faith and put JP in an integrated preschool. It has 17 kids. 9 are NT and 8 are special needs. JP is the only autistic child. Of course I am not privy to the various diagnoses but the rest seem to have pretty mild language issues. This set up has been super for JP in developing his social skills. He actually has an awesome teacher and (despite the large class size) manages to get pretty good attention from her. They also have a para and a speech path in there part time. Theoretically he is not getting 1 on 1 attention but he is getting excellent support. I figured this was a good trial run at an regular ed kindergarten.

So last Friday the librarian read a book that incorporated the months of the year. While pushing the kids to interact with her she probed them to recite the months. My immediate thought was, "No way, they won't know all 12 months!" Imagine my shock when virtually every child chimed in singing the months of the year! Every child but mine. He just sat there spaced out. I was a little bummed. Then I told myself that many other kids won't know this when the go to kindergarten.

However, later I started to get restless. Yes, it was impressive that this class of 4-5 year olds knew this information. But it is not "required" knowledge for the preschool crowd. Then I thought," but they all had to learn it somewhere and it was very likely is this classroom!" How did 17 other kids learn this and not my son? Bells were ringing. My heart was pounding. Why didn't my son learn it!

Of course, I know why. His learning style is different. He doesn't absorb it from songs and books. He has to have it broken down and taught to him. So I talked to his teacher. This material has not been formally taught. It has been included in the morning calendar discussions and through some songs but it hasn't been a focus in their curriculum. Of course, some of his peers will have learned it but it is not expected. This knowledge will be formally taught later on.

So on one hand I feel a sigh of relief that JP didn't "miss" learning something that has been specifically taught. But he did miss learning something that his peers just absorbed. I can't help but worry how many other learning opportunities have blown by him without gaining his attention.

(REALLY BIG SIGH), I just don't know. What is best for him? Academically, he is ready for kindergarten. But can he learn new things in that environment? That environment is best for his social growth. Obviously he needs supports in place. So far, the school agrees with that. But it is rare to get one on one support in our district. I don't know that he needs one on one. But I need assurance that someone is there to help when he needs it. The tricky part is knowing when he needs it.

I guess my concern is that JP is not a squeaky wheel. I worry that in a classroom filled with the drama and chaos of NT kids he will get lost in the shuffle. There will always be issues in a classroom and where JP is not a "discipline" issue I do fear that he may fade into the background. After all, the squeaky wheel always gets oiled first! This year, we are watching him closely to see where he needs supports, but next year he won't be surrounded by teachers experienced in special education.

So I guess the issue is that as his advocate, I'd need to step up and say that we need more supports in the classroom. But how will I know if he needs more! I have to rely on the information from the teachers as JP can't share with me much about his day. I get tidbits from him but nothing meaningful to tell me about his educational progress. Sure he'll get grades but I want to be proactive here. I don't want to wait until he develops behaviors to get attention or falls behind on the academics!

Ugh! How is a parent to know? I am seriously fantasizing about installing a "nanny cam" on him somewhere so I can tag along everywhere he goes. If he can't tell me what goes on... Oh the anxiety! Will it ever get better???????????????

I'm so not...

Monday we had some relatives come through town for a short visit. We joined them for supper and really had a nice meal. Both boys did really well. However, JP really seemed to have a connection with the waiter. Usually he is oblivious to the wait staff. Recently he started ordering his own food but never any extracurricular interactions with the wait staff. He tends to compartmentalize people and things. Everything has it's one specific purpose--and the wait staff brings us our food. But for some reason this young man was able to become more than that. He even got away with tickling JP a few times when he passed by the table!

Well, as we were wrapping up the meal our waiter brought the bill to JP. And JP just took it as though he knew what to do with it. One Aunt asked JP if he brought his wallet to pay for dinner. He stood up and pointed to each one of us individually and passionately said, "I'm so not taking you to dinner!". There were 7 of us so we heard this wisecrack repeated 7 times. It was cute and clever and we all giggled. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out where that line came from. I figured it had to be the movie Cars since that is our latest obsession. Also, I have never heard this saying from him before so it was likely something recent.

Sure enough, the line is from when McQueen goes to court after ruining the main road in Radiator Springs. Sally enters the courtroom and McQueen falls madly in love. He flirts with her and asks if she'd like to get lunch afterwards. Well, Sally is actually the town prosecutor and she ends up getting McQueen sentenced to staying in Radiator Springs until he fixes the road he destroyed. McQueen is not happy and he passionately tells her, "I am so not taking you to lunch!"

Well, I am thrilled that JP used it appropriately and he was the hit of the meal. The relatives were all amazed at his progress and of course they think he is so clever.

Well, here is what I received from his teacher the next day...

Today we heard, "I'm so not taking you to dinner" several times at opening. One peer got all upset and told me JP won't let him come over for dinner! Then JP switched it up a bit with whatever we were talking about. EX: "I'm so not having a Valentine's Party." and "I'm so not having small group today." I am not sure where this is coming from. Movie? Or do you so not talk like that?!!?!?!!??