Lesson in the library

Fridays are library day for JP's preschool. The librarian reads a story to the class and then they can check out books. Parents are welcome to join them.

I try to go most of the time but sometimes purposely stay home just so JP can practice dealing with something "different". We discovered this was an issue when I didn't come the second week and he had a meltdown. So now I try to mix it up to help him practice some flexibility. I tell him in the morning that I won't be there. His teacher is great at reminding him during the day and he seems to be dealing okay with the variance.

Before I expand on Library day, I suppose I need to explain the make up of this classroom. We took a huge leap of faith and put JP in an integrated preschool. It has 17 kids. 9 are NT and 8 are special needs. JP is the only autistic child. Of course I am not privy to the various diagnoses but the rest seem to have pretty mild language issues. This set up has been super for JP in developing his social skills. He actually has an awesome teacher and (despite the large class size) manages to get pretty good attention from her. They also have a para and a speech path in there part time. Theoretically he is not getting 1 on 1 attention but he is getting excellent support. I figured this was a good trial run at an regular ed kindergarten.

So last Friday the librarian read a book that incorporated the months of the year. While pushing the kids to interact with her she probed them to recite the months. My immediate thought was, "No way, they won't know all 12 months!" Imagine my shock when virtually every child chimed in singing the months of the year! Every child but mine. He just sat there spaced out. I was a little bummed. Then I told myself that many other kids won't know this when the go to kindergarten.

However, later I started to get restless. Yes, it was impressive that this class of 4-5 year olds knew this information. But it is not "required" knowledge for the preschool crowd. Then I thought," but they all had to learn it somewhere and it was very likely is this classroom!" How did 17 other kids learn this and not my son? Bells were ringing. My heart was pounding. Why didn't my son learn it!

Of course, I know why. His learning style is different. He doesn't absorb it from songs and books. He has to have it broken down and taught to him. So I talked to his teacher. This material has not been formally taught. It has been included in the morning calendar discussions and through some songs but it hasn't been a focus in their curriculum. Of course, some of his peers will have learned it but it is not expected. This knowledge will be formally taught later on.

So on one hand I feel a sigh of relief that JP didn't "miss" learning something that has been specifically taught. But he did miss learning something that his peers just absorbed. I can't help but worry how many other learning opportunities have blown by him without gaining his attention.

(REALLY BIG SIGH), I just don't know. What is best for him? Academically, he is ready for kindergarten. But can he learn new things in that environment? That environment is best for his social growth. Obviously he needs supports in place. So far, the school agrees with that. But it is rare to get one on one support in our district. I don't know that he needs one on one. But I need assurance that someone is there to help when he needs it. The tricky part is knowing when he needs it.

I guess my concern is that JP is not a squeaky wheel. I worry that in a classroom filled with the drama and chaos of NT kids he will get lost in the shuffle. There will always be issues in a classroom and where JP is not a "discipline" issue I do fear that he may fade into the background. After all, the squeaky wheel always gets oiled first! This year, we are watching him closely to see where he needs supports, but next year he won't be surrounded by teachers experienced in special education.

So I guess the issue is that as his advocate, I'd need to step up and say that we need more supports in the classroom. But how will I know if he needs more! I have to rely on the information from the teachers as JP can't share with me much about his day. I get tidbits from him but nothing meaningful to tell me about his educational progress. Sure he'll get grades but I want to be proactive here. I don't want to wait until he develops behaviors to get attention or falls behind on the academics!

Ugh! How is a parent to know? I am seriously fantasizing about installing a "nanny cam" on him somewhere so I can tag along everywhere he goes. If he can't tell me what goes on... Oh the anxiety! Will it ever get better???????????????