Mommy...I can't sleep!

How many couples have you heard arguing about their children still sleeping in their bed? You know, Dad is feeling like the odd man out because the 4 year-old is still occupying ¾ of the bed. Truth be told, I have secretly been jealous of those people.

My brother-in-law's family waged this war with our niece clear into grade school so we were committed to not do the co-sleeping thing. And although JP often had trouble sleeping, I just spent the time getting him back to sleep in his own bed. There were many times we slept in a “nest” on the floor because I couldn’t get him to sleep. I enjoyed the cuddle and just never considered bringing him back to our bed.

During the summer while I was pregnant with T, I spent a couple of mornings coaxing JP out of his bed to come “cuddle with Mommy”. He seemed to like that fine and even started coming in on his own once he woke up in the morning. However, he continued to wake up in the middle night and not seek us out. There were many nights that he would wake up crying hysterically and I have always thought it kind of sad that he would just sit on his bed sobbing and never think to come get me.

I got really nervous after T arrived and we couldn’t get the two different monitors to play nicely. I know some people thought I was being “overprotective” to still have a baby monitor in my 4 year old’s room but I just felt that it was necessary. But we just couldn’t figure out how to make it work and believe me—we tried! Finally I just had to acknowledge that it wasn’t possible to eavesdrop on his sleep (or lack of sleep) anymore! Of course I tried to train myself to listen for his cries but I kept telling myself that he is a big boy and would just have to learn to get us if he had a problem. He could do it, right?

Regretfully there was a time when my mother in law stayed with us. The next morning she commented on JP’s lack of sleep. I was horrified! He had been crying and I had not heard! Her room was next to his and she commented that she stayed away because she thought we were making him cry it out! I felt like the world's worst mom!

I am committed to figuring this out because like it or not there are times he will need to get up in the middle of the night. What if he gets sick? What if he has to go to the bathroom? What if he hears monsters in his closet? I have tried to make it a priority to get him to come find us. We have role-played. There are nightlights guiding his path to our room. I have even gone so far as to make it part of our bedtime routine. “What do you do if you wake up sad?” I ask every night. “Come and get Mommy and Daddy in their room” he now replies. But he has never come…until last Friday night!

He has a nasty cold and around 3am must have decided to come snuggle with Mommy!!! Needless to say, it was one of my best nights of sleep--ever!