No pain -- no gain?

Monday was JP's first dental visit. Yes. I am ashamed that he was 5 1/2 before he ever sat in a dentist's chair. But for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to make this event work. Perhaps I have been a coward. But atleast now it is over and atleast he didn't come out of it with a dozen cavities.

Well, hubbie's work has dental insurance. I had checked with other autism families around here and got a few recommendations. But nope. None of these referrals accept patients with our insurance plan. We could pay for the premium dental insurance that work offers but it was going to be $50 extra every month. So we decided that we would just have to find a respectable dentist served by our plan. The dentist Hubbie and I use did not really seem ideal for children so we looked for a pediatric specialist. There has to be someone suitable, after all we do live in a fairly large metro area. Nope, there were only 3 dentists listed as accepting new patients with our dental plan and they all 3 belong to the same practice. That is ridiculous! Have I mentioned how frustrated I am with healthcare in this country?

So while we tried to sort all of that out, we spent the past few months playing dentist at home. I bought a teeth cleaning set at Walmart and we practiced opening up for Dentist Mommy. JP now tolerates me touching his teeth and will open long enough for me to count them all. I've even been able to kind of tap on them without a fuss.

Finally we just settled on our family dentist. He is a nice guy but there is absolutely nothing elaborate about his facility. It actually looks exactly like what you would expect from a dental office in the 1950s...down to the swirly spit bowls. It wasn't ideal. He says he does work with children and was up to the challenge so we gave it a try.

Monday was our checkup. JP did really well! I was by his side and the dentist and hygienist did a great job of explaining what they were going to do. When they used the various (noisy) tools they showed them to JP first. They even let him push the buttons to try them out. He and the hygienist even had a little water fight with the water squirter tool. Ultimately, they were able to view all of his teeth and accomplish a very basic cleaning with the electric toothbrush.

Unfortunately he does have a cavity in his upper back. We tried to do the X-ray but that was just too difficult. JP couldn't get the Xray thingy in his mouth let alone bite on it and keep it there while they clicked a picture. Nevertheless, the dentist recommended a filling. So we fearfully made an appointment for Wednesday and headed home. We were elated that our first trip was a pleasant experience. However, I must admit that Mom was terrified that our second experience would ruin this first success.

So today we pulled out all the stops. Since Dad had to take the afternoon off to be with Trey (during the dentist visit) we just combined it with a trip to the Children's Museum. JP saw a commercial awhile back for a visiting Bob the Builder exhibit and has been expecting to go every day. He just keeps saying, "In the next morning we'll go to Bob the Builder".

It was a fantastic time.








Unfortunately our departure from the museum was less than perfect. JP flipped out. He did not want to leave. Oh well. Who could blame him?

So we took T and Dad home and then headed to the dentist. JP listened to his "therapeutic listening" CD while we waited. I gave him space. We talked about what to expect them to do. He understood that he had a cavity and that a cavity is an owie on his tooth. The doctor was going to clean the owie and then paint a "tooth bandaid" on it. He seemed okay. It felt like he was saying, "Sure, Mom, whatever. " He acted like this was going to be a routine trip to his new friend the dentist.

During our discussion I discovered that his biggest concern was his confusion when the dentist told him to open up like a crocodile so he could see all of his teeth. You see, according to JP, a crocodile goes "chomp chomp". He couldn't understand why the dentist would tell him to chomp chomp when he is trying to reach inside his mouth. Obviously the dentist didn't understand that a crocodile would bite his hands off. So instead, we worked out a signal of touching him on his chin to get him to open wide. It seemed to work. And he didn't chomp on the dentist.

So if you are interested in what JP had to say I transcribed our bedtime conversation on our Daily Ramblings link.

I am a little concerned that he never seems to express pain. He was bothered by the noise and squirmed considerably. But he would not admit to any pain. Now I haven't had a cavity filled in years but it seems to me that there should have been some pain to articulate! They did nothing to deaden or anesthetize him. Don't get me wrong I am not trying to create drama where there was none but this does bother me. It doesn't feel right.

I don't know how to teach JP to recognize that bad feelings exist and that it is okay. He just always tells us he is happy even when I know it isn't the case. For example back in March when he got his toenail ripped off. He would not acknowledge pain. He insisted that his feet were happy even when he looked like he might pass out.

This pain acknowledgment seems like an issue. He needs to know how to recognize bad feelings so that he can choose to remove himself from them. Even in it's most basic sense this seems like an issue of self preservation. I have to wonder if he put his hand in an open flame would he think to pull it out. Or would he just think it is what is expected and endure it? Am I being overly dramatic. Yeah, probably. But today's "success" has me wondering.

Isn't it annoying that I can't just think..."Wow, today was a success!"