UP or DOWN

The past few days have been somewhat volitile. JP has been verbally stimming a lot but it is different as the stims have been related to the here and now. For example, at speech therapy when the therapist took the flashcards out of the metal tin, JP kept chanting in a singsong voice, “There is another one in there”. (She had left the ones they already completed in the tin.) So to try to get him off that focus she took them all out. He still chanted it over and over again. She showed him it was empty. He just kept chanting with a spaced out grin on his face.

Sometimes he relishes in being goofy and just won’t focus and do what he is supposed to. He gets goofy and then starts stimming on that behavior. This happens even when we don’t encourage or reward the goofy behavior. So how do we bring him back to reality? It feels so wrong to threaten to punish him but this behavior is not appropriate. In fact, sometimes he thinks he is being playful and I fear squashing that behavior will make him withdraw. I rejoice in that free spirit and don’t want him to be all work and no play. I don't want him to be a robot.

This afternoon, Kristine (one of the college students I hired to do some 1 on 1 therapy with him) was working on a Thomas the Tank Engine puzzle. This therapy is pretty much just scheduled playtime. My current students are not formally trained and don’t have much experience with Autism. I figure this is okay because at this point my biggest goals relate to socialization. I make them a schedule and they do things like play games, do puzzles, read books, and color. My current goal is for him to follow the schedule and learn to play with others—such as taking turns. Worst case scenario, I am just paying for babysitting so that I can get something done around the house.

Anyway, JP has done this puzzle numerous times and apparently just didn’t want to do it. He was giggling and just being obnoxious. Kristine was patiently trying to get him engaged but he was just lying on the ground spinning circles. He would take a piece and toss it behind her. Again he was giggling and being playful rather than whining, kicking or screaming. Still it was inappropriate behavior. So I stepped in.

I entered the room and told him that he needed to stop messing around and start doing his work. He wasn’t playing with Kristine and she was there to play with him. If he didn’t get to work and play nicely, Kristine was going to have to put him in timeout. He immediately sat up and picked up a puzzle piece. He is very sensitive to raised emotions and does not like my stern voice. Most of the time, he starts crying if I so much as raise my voice. (And I have yet to even yell at him!) I stood there a few minutes while he “pretended” to do the puzzle. Then he said, “Mommy leave”. He then told Kristine he wanted to go to his bedroom. This could mean two things: "I want to get away from where Mom can overhear us" or "I’m done with this puzzle and I want to play trains". She said no and managed to get him through the puzzle. I was actually very impressed with how she reigned him in.

I sat in the kitchen listening to their interactions and did a silent clap when they finished the puzzle. Then I was floored. They were celebrating the completion of the puzzle and all of a sudden I hear little footsteps running into the kitchen. He exclaims, “Mommy, its finished”. I was shocked that he was reporting back to me. Usually, it is out of sight--out of mind. I congratulated him and told him how proud I was that he got to work and got the job done. Apparently that wasn’t enough. He said, “Mommy, need to come look”. So I did. He showed it off so proudly.

So I don’t know whether to be up or down. He has been so repetitive lately with his language and downright annoying with his stims. But he referenced back to me to let me know that he did the puzzle AND he had to seek me out to do so!

UP, down, UP down…the story of our lives.