Friendly Interactions

To be honest until this summer I avoided taking JP to the library. With his continual verbal stimming, I really didn't think he could be quiet enough. But we made it a goal for the summer and he actually grew quite fond of going.

Well, on our third visit he eagerly marched right in and back to the children's corner. When we got there we saw a woman and a couple children sitting on the floor talking. I am sure this looked a lot like "circle time" at school. To my astonishment, he marched right up and said, "Can I play with you?"!!!!! I was so amazed to see it happen I stood there stunned. Unfortunately that is where his intent for interaction ended. He sat down off to the side and started playing with a big toy (one of those with the beads that slide around on the wires). He loves these and calls them "trains". We love trains!

So he had basically announced his arrival but then sat down and ignored them. The lady tried to ask his name. He said, "I'm wearing Superman" and pointed to his shirt. She asked if he liked that toy. He said, "It's a train". This is where the little girl stepped in and said that is a bead. To my horror, JP screamed "IT'S A TRAIN" at the top of his lungs. I worried that this would end our interaction but the little girl surprised me. She then pointed to a red one and said "it's blue". JP said, "It's red!". He was still pretty passionate (and loud) but less agitated. After a few repetitions he giggled as he corrected her. They played this game for a few minutes. She thought they were playing but I think JP just thought she was plain stupid.

So after awhile she lost interest and I got JP redirected and looking at some books. I was breathing a sigh of relief and thinking how proud I was that he blended in. Yes, he was quirky but that nice little girl played along and they had fun. I was feeling like the world might just be more accepting and friendly than I had given it credit.

Then along came another little girl. The girls were talking right by JP. I think he knew he had to introduce himself again but what came out is "I am wearing Superman". The new little girl just looked at him with a confused look. Our "friend" then rolled her eyes and said, "He's weird, let's go" and they ran off.

My heart felt so heavy I thought it was going to fall out of my chest. I couldn't breathe. It was so sad. On the other hand, JP didn't seem to react one way or the other. He just sat back down and looked at his book. Obviously, I took it harder than he did.

I reflect on this visit to the library with both sadness and joy. My little boy who always avoided other children actually asked to join in (even if it was on his terms--to play with a preferred toy). But that was huge! He was able to "converse" even though the little girl really carried the burden of keeping the "conversation" going as they played their labeling game. There was proof that we are making progress...but I was also reminded that we have a ways to go. And unfortunately there was the reminder that the world is not always kind.

I just keep trying to focus on the positives...